Eurovision Song Contest 2014

WE ARE WURST!!!

 

Dear followers, fellow Austrians, let me fiercely announce: We won the Eurovision Song Contest and that for the first time since 48 years. Who the hell cares about Cordoba anymore, we won the biggest trans-European song contest, which means that we –little Austria- beat a total of 36 other nations including France and Germany (oh hell yeah take that). I can’t help but feel a certain sentiment of overwhelming pride. 

However, of course it’s not completely right if I say that “we” won the ESC and its even less  just to speak of “the Austrians won” if we consider the huge controversy that our candidate caused and the –in my opinion- completely dull debate following it. Well, let’s not speak about silhouettes, however, but reveal our musical Queen, the Queen of Austria; Ladies and Gentleman, might I present Conchita Wurst alias Tom Neuwirth, the winner of this year’s ESC.  

I guess you can figure out what the controversy and debate is all about. It’s a boy dressed as a lady – still with a beard; apparently this seems to overcharge some people’s brain pretty hard. It’s actually really shocking to read the comments and opinions and the hatred of these intellectually challenged knobs. Referring to both Conchita and her performance, they speak of a huge embarrassment for Austria, of something that, according to reliable English dictionaries, doesn’t even yet exist in the English language – of “fremdschämen”, the act of feeling ashamed on someone’s behalf. Reading all these exceptionally stupid comments, like “How shall I explain that to my children”, makes me start to wonder if humanity will ever be completely capable of tolerance and respect.

A man dressed as a woman, wearing a beard?

Also, I feel quite disturbed by people blaming us and especially this year’s performance for mocking the Eurovision Song Contest, which is in their opinion a highly serious event which should convey values and therefore must not be ridiculed. Seriously, like, are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell takes the ESC serious? To all the Austrians sharing this opinion – might I remind you of our contribution to 2003s ESC, Alf Poier and his song “Weil der Mensch zählt”?! Or the performance of the Buranowskije Babuschki of Russia in 2012? This were eight grannies with the average age of 66 and you want to tell me that one must not ridicule the ESC, oh fuck off please ^^ But we don’t even have to go back in time, look at this year’s French or Icelandic or Polish performance! One dedicates a song to moustaches and the other features a women making butter on stage. 

 

Yeah, they totally liked "the song", of course!

And by the way, Conchita Wurst’s song “Rise Like a Phoenix” has conveyed more values and a bigger message than all the other songs combined in my opinion! On top of that the performance itself was flawless and that song together with his/her incredible voice was just stunning. The moment I heard and saw it on stage I knew we had serious chances to win. 

Buranowskije Babuschki

This wasn’t very hard, though, as the other songs couldn’t really touch our bearded lady. Honestly, most of them were just boring, particularly the two other favorites that made the finale some sort of a neck-and-neck race. Sweden’s tedious ballade and the Netherlands depressing whatever-that-was didn’t appeal to me at all. Even France with their moustache song and only two points was better than this since it was both catchy and funny.

However, I’m really glad that we won and that I was part of Austrian music history. Let me know what you think about Conchita Wurst and her performance in the comments below! Does she deserve it or should another country have won? Who was your favorite? Do you think that “Rise Like a Phoenix” won just because of the message and the whole schmear?

In case you don’t even know what this post is all about and what I am talking about (a woman with a beard, häh? What the hell did that dude smoke?), here’s the song: