The Lion Guard

The Lion Guard – WTF? Disney STOOOP!!!

Do you know what really grinds my gears? Stupid series remakes!

What would you do if they took one of your favorite childhood series or movies and (desperately try to) remake them in an attempt to reach the older version in terms of popularity etc.?

Well, back in the days when I was a child, I didn’t watch too much television (in fact I preferred reading books) but I also had my series like Pokémon, Vicky the Viking and The Adventures of Nils Holgerson. And then there was of course Disney – oh how I love(d) Disney movies. I always smiled when Balu sang about the Bare Necessities, I cried when Mufasa died, I couldn’t stop laughing at the crazy Hatter in Alice in Wonderland and I was afraid for Pinocchio when he was swallowed by the whale. These films made me identify with their characters and always managed to teach me something important about life (the circle of life for example); they just were a part of my childhood, something which I would never want to have missed. 

The good old days ...

Nowadays, I could throw up whenever I look at new series. It begins early in the morning when I enter the living room and my little brother watches the Dora the Explorer-shit, it continues in the afternoon when I return from university just to find my brother sitting in front of Kid vs. Kat or Fairly OddParents  or crap alike (I’m only talking about cartoons now, don’t get me started on series like Big Time Rush) and it ends in the evening when he watches the ultimate shit Almost Naked Animals (like seriously, this is the most annoying shit you’re ever gonna watch -look at this excerpt) .

                                          Viewer discretion strongly advised!

Whenever I see (I don’t watch them) one of these series I’m all like, come on guys this is your concept of a child cartoon? Really? They usually:

•  Have a completely crappy design (in NO way comparable to the old, hand drawn and  beautiful style of Disney movies or old series)
• Try to convey NO message and no values AT ALL
• Do not inspire any emotions AT ALL
• Tend to introduce at least one character which is completely retarded in such an obvious way that it’s really unbearable and nerving (this feature is really interesting to observe, I think it started with Patrick in the series Spongebob – a series that I particularly like though)
  This particular character also uses to have an extremely annoying voice.
•  Have a screenplay (does a cartoon have a screenplay or how do you call it? Does anybody know that?) which consists of silly jokes, stupid jokes and dumb jokes.

I mean, I really wonder what the series creators, what all the producers, the directors, the screenplay writers and whoever is involved, think, when they create or participate in creating such a concept. This is as we would say in German complete “Volksverblödung” (I’m sorry for the Germanism but currently there is no other word that could describe my thoughts about that better and besides there is no translation for it). I really pity all these children that know no better and grow up watching that stuff but even more I condemn these channels that agree to show THAT.
I would rather have them rewind a good old series season per season as to watch THAT.

However, until recently I really didn’t care that much, because whenever I saw one of these series I tried not to rage but calmed down and said to myself that I will never expose my children to THAT but show them all the good stuff that I grew up with.
BUT two days ago my limit was finally exceeded as first of all I woke up just to see that they aired a new series which is in fact a remake of Vicky the Viking just with another design and a far worse content and screenplay. This hurt me, truly.

<-- YES

                               NO -->

To make matters worse, I read an article on that very day about Disney allegedly making a remake of The Lion King in form of a series called The Lion Guard. Now, Ladies and Gentleman this goes way too far and I can’t but dearly ask you to stop THIS MADNESS.
The Lion King is in my opinion one of the most perfect and also sophisticated kid’s movies ever made. It is compassionate, wise, charming with such a beautiful design, in fact it’s just a masterpiece. (Speaking of the first part though, as the second part was just okay while the third part screwed it up) Do not touch this piece of art; do not touch any of the old Disney movies for god’s sake there is no need for remakes.

Of course, Disney is known for making good material (as we’ve seen) and if they take the helm then this could have potential, I am quite aware of that. Maybe they are even willing to put enough effort in it to keep the old hand drawn design. Apart from that would of course be interested in the extended storyline (it shall revolve around the second child of Simba). Nevertheless, I just fear that this will end in a failure which could probably spoil the image that The Lion King currently has. Just imagine this series having such a goony content and dialogues just like today’s series. This would be horrible.

However, what are your thoughts on that? Do you think that this remake is a good idea, or do you rather share the conservative perspective with me? Would you watch it anyway?
By the way, what was your favorite Disney movie?

Here’s the link to the article about The Lion Guard:

http://blogs.disney.com/insider/2014/06/10/be-prepared-for-the-lion-guard/

And because it fits this article pretty well, here's the movie scene that nearly ruined my childhood :'(