Where do you poop?
Well, hopefully in a public restroom (AE), the
conveniences (BE) or at least a Port-a-Potty to start with. The general idea of
attending a toilet and relieving your rectum may be something that unites
humanity. The Germans guzzle their Currywurst, the Mexicans scarf their tacos
and tortillas down and the Chinese eat their dogs and cats or whatever; fact
is, regardless of nationality, sex and skin color, highborn or lowborn, rich or
poor, gay or straight – eventually everyone has to take a crap.
The habits of doing
so, however, differ in a variety of fascinating ways, if it comes to language
for example. While in America they go on the John or the can, in England they
prefer to spend a penny (BE for going to the toilet) in the loo or the bog (a
very vulgar term though) and the Irish attend their Jakes. Even in Austria we
can either retreat ‘ins stille Örtchen’ or go ‘aufn Scherbn’.
Other English expressions
for the toilet (which doesn’t yet complete the colorful linguistic variety in
no way) would be privy (only slang), on public signs you might find Gents and
Ladies and finally the crapper, which would be translated as “Scheißhaus” and
therefore is rather not so formal.
So far so good, but the main point of this
post shall be neither cultural nor any other aspects related to having a dump but
the location. Now, I want to present you a selection of the most extraordinary,
strange and even perilous toilets in the world.
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1. This is
just in order to show you that the idea itself is very old. In fact, the first
toilets were invented in the third millennium BC, which was also called “Age of
Cleanliness”. This very comfortably looking toilet, however, dates back to the
8th century BC and was found in the City of David, Jerusalem.
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2. Our next toilet
would make you definitely feel like a king on his throne, as it is made
completely of 24-carat gold with a total worth of about €5,4 million. It was
built by the jeweler Lam Sai-Wing and stands in his shop in Hong Kong. To use
it, you have to buy jewelry amounting to at least 1,000 Hong Kong Dollar which
is about €153. A fair price in my opinion as not only the toilet itself is made
of gold but the whole bathroom, including the door, the lavatory etc., with gems
on the ceiling and gold bars on the floor. All in all very luxurious, according
to the Guinness World Records even the most luxurious toilet. What else do you
need?
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3. This one
may not be politically correct and somehow tasteless and crude but just imagine
Osama Bin-Laden having a slash in one of these. No offence! Seriously, this man doesn't seem to be America's most popular president :/
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4.Didn’t you
ever drive through the infinite vastness of the Sahara and suddenly felt the
urge to have a shit but didn’t find any toilet in the surroundings? Well, some Bedouins
were probably disgusted by people just burying their droppings in the sand (or
doing it themselves) and that’s why they decided to build this fancy little
restroom in the middle of – apparently nowhere.
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5. You may think
that the aftermath of 9/11 only made an impact in the US, but this toilet in Beijing, China disproves that. Weighing 15 tons, this bunker of a bathroom is without
doubt the safest place in the world to take a crap, since it is bulletproof and
even immune to TNT explosives detonated from within.
It was built after 9/11,
as a part of some anti-terror products commissioned by the Chinese government.
The public restroom is nevertheless pretty unpopular among the Chinese.
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6. Some toilets surely aren't for the faint-hearted among us, like this one. This stall is an art
installation called “Don’t Miss a Sec” and consists of one-way glass. It looks
like a mirror to an outsider, but completely transparent to the person who sits
inside. Thus the user inside should still feel integrated into the world while
relieving himself. I don’t know how you think about that but I definitely
wouldn’t dare to poop in there. No way!
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7. Now, that
one in turn is nothing for people who have a little fear of heights. It stands on a
crest of Tasman Glacier in New Zealand, with a very narrow edge on both sides. Looking
at this picture I can’t help but ask myself who the hell builds a toilet in
such a place. Despite being a little bit perilous it’s still beautiful somehow.
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8.
Everyone
who has an aquarium knows that fish have a shit whenever and wherever they want
and absolutely don’t care if they are observed by us, but how is it the other
way round. How would you feel, if dozens of fish witness the act of discharging
your rectum? In the Mumin Papa Café in Akashi, Japan you can try and find out.
The restroom there is surrounded by a live-three wall aquarium, providing you
with a spectacular scenery. Sadly, it’s ladies-only (but there’s a male sea turtle).
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9. If you
should ever go hiking atop the Kara-Tyurek mountain pass in the Altai Mountains
in Sibiria, I have just one piece of advice for you: Do NOT eat any beans beforehand!!! Because the next toilet I would
only enter if my bottom threatens to explode owing to the squitters. The building
in question is perching on a cliff and as you can see it is an outhouse which
means that there’s only a hole and maybe a more or less comfortable toilet seat
in there and directly under the hole it goes 2600 meters down. It is only
balanced by a pile of stones – how calming! I for my part wouldn’t dare to
lift-off in that thing. Well, at least it looks very well ventilated.
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10. Have you
ever asked yourself, why not a single escape attempt in the 29-year history of
Alcatraz was successful? Well, I think this delightful little toilet might be
one reason for it, as, standing in a guard tower, the warders had an amazing
all-round view of San Francisco Bay and the prison area while they took one of
their comfort breaks. The little side effect that the whole action was visible,
since the toilet is surrounded by glass, was probably not mentioned in the
labor contract.
11. Apropos
amazing view, this toilet, the last one (and my favorite) of this list enables
you with a stunning view as well. It stands in Boston Bay High Camp in the
state of Washington, USA and the mountain that you can marvel at while
relieving yourself is the Johannesburg Mountain in the North Cascades national
park. But, as riveting the mountain view and the landscape might be, I don’t
think that I could enjoy all of this while sitting there on the toilet since,
as you can see, there is no building, are no walls, just nothing around me to
protect me from any looks, only a toilet seat in the middle of nowhere on a
mountain. I just wouldn’t feel comfortable at all. Nevertheless, it’s a great
idea.
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Now guys, that was the final one. As I said, this is
only a selection of many toilets that are unusual or funny in some way and,
well, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Maybe someone of you already sat on one of
these toilets and did his business – who knows.
